I've never been particularly active and I've never played a sport that I enjoyed. And though I've struggled with my weight periodically, I've never felt unhealthy. Until now.
I've been a vegetarian for 22 years; but having become and stayed a vegetarian for moral reasons, the health aspect of the choice never figured into things. My bad eating habits didn't seem to matter much. Until now.
I grew up loving to read and write. In my teen years, I discovered a love of art, though I never excelled at it. Once I became an editor, my reading slowed and then pretty much disappeared. Once I no longer had classes to paint for, my paints dried up and were thrown out. I didn't mind much. Until now.
I had a health scare shortly before my 39 birthday. In the end, I was simply not getting enough iron. But the panic attacks, extreme fatigue, feelings that I was going to die, the many other physical and mental symptoms and the ensuing tests at my doctor's office and at the hospital left me scared. The upside of it all is that I found out that my heart is healthy. I want to keep it that way.
When I turned 39 last month, a thought occurred to me. I felt old. Physically. Mentally. Happy but not healthy. I don't want to feel even older by the time I turn 40 next year. I want to change. I want to run with my daughter and not feel out of breath. I don't want to sit on the couch and pass on bad habits to her. I don't want to nip out to the corner store because I want something sweet after dinner. I don't want my daughter to move out of my house (admitted a long time from now, as she's just starting JK now) and find I have no friends or hobbies of my own. I want to know that I'll be around for all the important moments in her life and to have many more important moments of my own. I want to keep growing and getting better.
This probably seems like a bit of a mixed jumble right now. But that's the point of this blog for me. To get it all down, distill it into manageable bits and do something about it. Make life changes that are permanent and aimed at making my life and my family's life better.
So, here's some of what I'm planning on focusing on (in no particular order yet) over the next 11 months:
- Getting physically healthy
- Being present and not easily frustrated at home
- Eating more vegan meals/having more vegan days
- Getting my financial house in order
- Meeting a few key career goals
- Allowing myself to have time for things I enjoy
More things may come up. Goals and focus may change. My path may twist. I may meander. This is a journey. This is the first step.
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